Fear

What are you most afraid of?

I can truly confess that I'm afraid of many things.
1.Talking publicly
2.Losing people
3.Incects
4.Life
5.Death
Etc. Too many things to number.

I do know that none of those I can control. Its part of life.

Yet, there something that terribly terrifies me. I barely came to be aware of this today.
 I'm terrified of myself.
That's right. I'm scare of myself. How can that be possible? I don't clearly know myself.

I just know I'm terrified of who I'm turning into. This terrified, timid, helpless, and unmotivated girl. How did I become like this? I asks myself lately. Why is it that I'm so unhappy with the present situation, why not change? I try I truly do. When I fail because of my own faults. I feel I sink deeper that before. I deep will I sink before I can't recognize myself any longer. My horrible habits. My mouth, thoughts and feelings. What do I do? Wish someone could answer me. Yet, I know I must search for it on my own.

Well this was depressing. Wish it had been a better day. Wish all of you had a better day than me. Bye Bye  till next time ;) <3