Faith

I cried! I broke down today. It hurts to break down after trying so hard not to. Found a note today. It was from my mom to us her kids. She starts by saying how much she loves us. But believes she doesn't have much more in this world. It scared the fudge out of me.

I can't believe my life without her. Her love, hugs , jokes and faith in me. That I can do anything I set my mind. Even when I lost all hope she is there to lift me up.  I love her with all my heart.

After crying until my eyes hurt. I began to think. Everything I ever do I think of her. What would she think seeing me cry. She would be sad. I want her happy always. So I thought hard.

I came to the conclusion that I need to work harder. For her sake and my own. She knows she won't be there all my life. And I need to think of that reality. I can't run away from life and it's problems.

I promise myself by this time next year. I will be stronger. I will be happier. I will not run away. I will be independent. I will make my mother proud.