Bye

I'll be taking a break.

I Know

I missed another day. I know.

I even remembered about writing throughout the day. I just decided not to write. What's wrong with me. Got so much running through my mind lately. I could feel myself breaking down today. Thankfully I had work. I got distracted and so my mind went a bit positive. Wish I didn't have to rely on outside distractions to get myself up.

Is it possible that I can allow myself to fall without breaking? I don't know. But I don't want to find out. Only bad thoughts come to mind when I'm down. I can not allow myself to go there any longer.

I will be strong. I will overcome.

I will not allow myself to hide. I will survive!

Not much

I'm sorry. I got nothing much to say today. Not feeling it.

Have a wonderful day!

Nerves.

I don't know what is wrong. I feel uneasy about every decision I want to take. I can feel myself fall apart.

Mind

Got a lot in my mind.

My mother made a comment a couple of minutes ago. She said she would like to open a business where we used to live. That she was willing to leave us behind. That we are old enough.

Is it true? Because I don't feel old. Or ready. Am I supposed to be? I don't get it. I don't want to see.

I turned her down coldly. Knowing also that she wanted support and a response. That maybe she wants us to say we'll go with her.

Can we? Should we? I lived there 7 of my earlier years. I been here for 13 years. This is all I know now.

What kind of daughter am I. I can't even support my supporter. She been here for everything. And here I am not willing to help in anyway.

What am I doing? I love her so much am afraid to lose her. It terrifies me to even imagen her not on my side.

So (3)

How is everyone today?

I just got home from work. Bit tired. Not much to say today. Am hungry so am going to eat.

Have a wonderful day!

Hey (2)

How is everyone?

I'm okay. Could be better. So I almost forgot to write once again. I don't know what is going on. I was doing so good doing one each day. Now it's weird.

Well have a great day.

Again (1)

How is everyone doing?

I'm a little disappointed in my self. I missed a day ago in the challenge. Didn't even make it to two weeks. So once again here I am. Starting the challenge from the beginning.

So I hope all of you have a wonderful day! Till later

Sorry

I know I missed yesterday. Sorry about that. I will restart the 21 day challenge tomorrow. So till next time.

Have a wonderful day!

Day 12

Hey everyone! How's everything?

Am great. Yesterday was completely fun. Don't have much to say today. I can't think of anything.

So have a great day!

Day 11

Had to write this beforehand.

Hi everyone how are you!?
Today is going to be nerves and excitement all day. I live in Az. Here for 14 years. Never have I been to the snow region or grand canyon. Can you believe it? I can't. But finally I will today.

I hope for the best for all of you! Have a wonderful day!

Day 10

Almost forgot again. Oh yeah. So how is everyone! That's better. Sorry if you don't understand anything I write about. I write as if I was talking to someone.

Back on to the real topic. Parents.
I been a bit ungrateful lately. I don't know why. It's weird. I don't even think twice before acting or saying something. Need to work on that.

So hope all of you appreciate your parents a bit. It can be rough but they always want the best for us.

Have a wonderful day!

Day 9

Hi!
I almost forgot about writing today. Oops. Stressing a bit right now. Bought the car yesterday! Yet all I can think about is , what if I made a rash decision?

Then my mind goes positive. Things happen for a reason. I can't regret my decisions.

Am stuck between this two.

Day 8

Hello everyone! How is everything?!

Me? My nerves are wanting to kill me. Yet, I'm trying to be positive. Everything happens for a reason. Found the car. The car. I love it. But I'm struggling with it. The price and then it got details. Then today when I was going to close the deal. Another detail came up about it. 

So I hope all of you enjoy today!
-Roxy

Day 7( Roxy)

Soooo Hi.

Not in the mood today. So we'll do what I did with my blog on YouTube. I will bring out my outer ego. Hi I am Roxy!

I am not afraid. I am not weak. I am alive.

Why Roxy?
I need her at the moment. While I learn that I won't need her. But right now she is the only keeping me in the surface. I will be her when I feel the panic come and I will smile. I will face my challenge and I will beat it.

Everyone lets enjoy life one way or another. Lets be Alive!

Day 6

Happy Tuesday!
How is everyone? I'm good. Still a bit stressed. A lot to do today. Find a car. Pay bills. And other things I may be forgetting.

But on the bright side. I'm almost off work. So yay! Only 4 more hours to go.

On the down side. My mood been on the ground. I don't know why? I'm okay one minute. Then I don't want to talk with anyone. And not be bothered. Hopefully I don't let it control me.

Hope for all of you to have a wonderful day!

Day 5

Good beautiful morning!
How is everyone?
I'm good. I didn't accomplish a promise today but not getting down. Will try again tomorrow. Not giving up!

I got two days to get a new car. Good luck to me . I been searching but can't find anything that I love. I like a lot of them but money can't afford. So all my efforts go to getting a car as soon as possible.

Have a wonderful day!

Day 4

Good morning!
Got a few ideas in my mind. There is so much I want and will do this year. New routines and life style. Want to change. Be more active. Be more alive. Doing nothing at home is not living. Time to get up and live!

Day 3

Hi everyone!
Got nothing much to say really. Today been a good day. I hope all is good at your side. Hope you enjoy the day! Till later!

Day 2

Hello everyone how are you?
I'm okay.

So last two days I have had a days off from work. What have I done?
Nothing. Except write. But nothing that I wish I could put myself to do. Like really. I promised myself to look for a car and place. And here I am my days off and I do nothing. How do I expect to move out or support myself when I don't even start the first step?

21 days

Have any of you heard of the 21 days challenge. Well if you haven't here it is. You start doing something for 21 days straight. Something you want to start doing regularly. A habit you want to start doing. Diet, exercise, almost anything can be the challenge. After the 21 days it is said that it comes easier for the person to do the activity. You get use to do it and becomes a regular part of life.

My point? Well that here I promise that starting today 1/7/16. I will write my blog every single day. That by 1/28/16 I will have 21 blogs up. Why this?

I struggle a lot with motivation and sticking with things. If any have found my channel. You can see clearly that I haven't uploaded in a while. I want to start little by little. I tend to put a lot of pressure on myself. By this I don't and will suffer less anxiety.

Losing track of thoughts once again. I just rumbling don't I. Well that be all today. Hope you all have a great day. On my end it may be raining but there is a lot of light shinning through. Never give up!

Hey!

Hey everyone! How are you? I'm okay. I think. Really don't know. Its weird, I just don't know how to feel anymore. Well I don't want to get down today. I want to be happy and not depressed at all.

Want to know something? I really don't know what to write. Writing is like therapy for me. So when I am down I turn to writing. Even when I have zero idea of what to write. I wish I had someone to talk to. Duh (I hit my forehead). I do have people to talk to. Its just I don't know. Sometimes I feel I just bother them with my dumb rants.

Here I go getting down again. Well tomorrow is my day off. Any plans you ask. Not really. I wish I did. Well this will be all for today. I wish all of you a good day!

Update!

How is everyone?
Me? I really don't know really. I'm not bad or very good. Just bleh.

How is the year so far?
Okay. I got so many plans for this year. I really want to focus on my writing and myself. Today I asked for two sundays off this month. I'm glad. Its been a while that I had a sunday to spend with the family.

How is family?
Its very complicated. My family is not perfect and never was. Yet, I feel as things are just a mess. Tension and anger. I worked really hard to control my emotions but I'm not that patient. Things are not changing at all.

Change
I'm taking the first step. I will look for a place. I'm done with the situation. I love my family with all my heart. Yet, all the problems are taking a toll on me.

I will confess that this decision terrifies the wits out of me. I will be on my own. For the first time in my life. It will be me.