Lost

I want to run. Disappear and for no one to find me. My heart is racing and i feel sick to my stomach.

I was just told i will be in charged of a store once again. I dont want to. I really dont.

I hate how they assign me without asking if I'm available. Like really. Do you want me to cancel all my plans so i can help me.

But guess what. Im probably not going to even complaint to them. Thats how bad of a self defender of myself i am.

I need to learn how to take care of myself better. Speak upbfor myself. Not let others go over me and stomp on me. But i just don't know how.

My brain is working in over drive trying to think of an excuse to get out of it somehow. But i know there is no valid reason. They need me and im probably not going to say anything but of course. Yeah ill help. No problem at all.

its been a while

Hi everyone! It has been a great while since last time we have talked. A lot has happened in the last couple of months.

I'm no longer a manager since last month. The job was good. I got the hand of it a bit. It just I realized that I'm not ready for that kind of responsibility just yet. I still work for the company. Its good. Not working the crazy hours any longer which helps with the stress.

Not everything has been bad. Just last week I turned 21. I dared and asked for time off from work. Took a bus with a friend at 2 am after work. We left for San Diego. I would be lying if I said my nerves didn't betray me. Day one and I wanted to return home. But the next day I felt as I belonged there. it felt weird but I wasn't as scared.

For my birthday, I didn't go crazy. I went to the zoo. We where there for about four hours. Afterwards we went to the store and bought alcohol and a mini cake. Since I'm not used to alcohol didn't drink much. And also I got supper supper tired that I fell asleep. Well that was a great birthday even if I didn't get drunk.